Wish List
Wish List
Loving & Peace & Satisfaction & Hope & Courage & Insight & Variety & Fortitude
& Freedom & Beauty & Honesty & Talent & Opportunity & Willingness & Gratitude
& Cooperation & Family & Family & Family & Nothing Else.
Christopher Valentine©
TO Stand
To Stand
The valiant the bold the everlasting metaphor
Hero, Time Keeper, Warrior through and through
Stolid, intrepid, hearty
Day to day consistancy
Light and honor and power and substance
Actual, relative, anchient, timely, spiritual, Psychic
The today man and forever more
Balanced of scales the world as measure
Helmet and shield and sword and spear at the ready
Ever vigilant ever fearful
The defender of innocence, the protector of them who wait
His eyes watchful his heart open his breath short for anticipation
Active of a will not his own
Driven of a compellment inexplicable
Christopher Valentine©
For Carolyn
For Carolyn
"The moment like the droplet in air falling to earth
each inch a new experience the feel of wind streaming around
inhaling, inhaling. The fall, the rush of fear called "thrill" wanting,
wanting to pull back, but the force pulls on".
"Powerful, insatiable, undeniable, desire; desire for the new but known
the ache, the sweet hurt of the new unknown yet attractive.
Centering, solidifying, warming, clearifying. End over end, beginning again, again."
"Twisting and unraveling, recombining and dispersing, climaxing and recovering, condensing and evaproating."
"It falls to become new, meeting ground coalescing, meeting sunlight vaporizing,meeting air asending, meeting itself to fall again."
Christopher Valentine©
For Jalesa
FOR JALESA
In the time of hearts, failing and faltering,
one stood fearless
To her, birth was given, a gift without pain
a blessing without equal: a life.
Your spirit saw what few dare to even seek after,
but a heartbeat's rhythm was your beacon…bump, bump
I am here, bump, bump, I am here.
The only answer was to answer: I am coming for you,
I am coming for you.
Her eyes opened, her ears listened, hand took hand and
life accepted life; possessing and possessed.
"Do you know who I am?" she asked. "I will be whatever
you are" she responded.
In the time of hearts, strong and unwavering a question is
answered.
Christopher Valentine©
FOR LANA
For Lana
I love you like the moon loves the sun's light,
that it shine and is admired by all.
And what if the moon is of the Earth eclipsed
What great jealously the moon does harbor
because the source by which he is famous and
the inspiration of lover's trysts has vanished.
-A Selfish Love
I love you like the saintly love
life's last breath, who with faith cross
over to redemption of their life's sacrifices.
-A Sure Love
I love you like clay loves the potters touch
that it be transformed from nutrient rich earth
to be a vessel of life giving water.
-A Transforming Love
I love you like the candle loves the flame
that though they be mutually exhaustive of the other
together, how they do light up a room.
-A Dangerous Love
Love is selfish and sure and transforming and dangerous
but Love is real and I Love you.
Christopher Valentine©
For Ami
For Ami
She looks like strawberries on vanilla ice cream on a warm summers night,
She looks like water in the desert for a man that's been there too long
She looks like the sunshine pushing through the clouds after the rain,
She looks like red roses on St. Valentine's day,
She looks like the horizon over the mountains in the morning
She looks like the full moon rising above the sea,
She looks like the flame in the fireplace that removes the night airs chill,
She looks like the Kenyan savanna at dusk, and like the Taj Mahal in the evenings final light
She looks like my hunger....and I am hungry.
Christopher Valentine©
For Nazelah
For Nazelah
As the sun sets and the sky blooms magenta
As the clouds clear and turn sienna
As the lake froths with the springs waves
As night caresses the sun and
Seduces the light to be shade
As the swans of the south come again to the north with their grace
And as the wind from the east cools the heat of the day
As the time passes by and a new time takes it's place
At an eternal revolving consistent pace
As the earth quivers with new life born from the old
And as the summer is freed from winters cold
Like Eryka sings "On and On" And like Joni sings "Got till it's Gone"
Like the taste of mint on brand new lips
And licking chocolate off new finger tips
All these things are powerful and true
As you are to me and I am to you.
Christopher Valentine©
WICKED
WICKED
I have learned through my pain and have been educated through my sorrow,
From responding I have refrained though embittered to my marrow
I have held silent though rage filled my chest,
and have clenched my fist through evil's taunting test
I have turned my back though the tempest furious within,
and withdrew from hostility with pride and conscience battling
I have held back the sword of vengeance when only God knew why
and suffered with the shame as time passed by
To the break, to the breach, beyond the edge to insanity
consumed, warped and wonton, the delirium of evil all that be,
damaged beyond repair, a lunatic loosed free.
I shall now be bitterness upon the Earth, I shall rend all asunder, I will grind them to dirt.
My name now "shatter" and "ruin" and "hardship" and "grief" my life's purpose upheaval, with afflictions sickle I reap,
and if the world thought there was destruction before then I will be beyond belief,
calamity's catastrophe a thousand-thousand times my hurt will they see
The horsemen of the apocalypse shall flee at my name,
and Sol's own core shall be my fury's flame,
as the ashes of my antagonists and adversaries fall like rain,
insatiable my anger incurable my pain
I shall blanket the sun's light with eternal shade,
so all shall be wounded and blinded and hopeless made,
till daylight becomes a rumor, a legend, a daze, a hallucination of madmen a symptom of craze.
The howls of their agony, the screams of their pain, the racking of their bodies unchecked; sustained
The paralyzed torment of inevitable terror their minds numbed from misery their hearts stopped with dolor,
excelling will I be at new found torture augmenting the horror as shall I the slaughter
And time shall seem stopped, shocked to hesitation, by my vengeance's vengeance,
my work of frustration. The predestined path to utter ruination, a persistent fanatic,
committed to obliteration
The reticence of my soul's sufferance forever vanquished, my left arm made terror,
my right arm made panic, every unction, and desire, and focus, and cause
every enterprise, and industry and virtue, now flawed
every thought, and purpose committed and locked, without, turning or waiver, or pausing, or stop
Of vindictiveness' essence my heart does now thirst, the fuel of my rancor, the driving of my hurt.
To vindication I pursue my bloods venom has demanded
On to vendetta's fulfillment to malevolence's highest standard!
Christopher Valentine©
I Don't Know You
I Don't Know You
I don't know you in want. I don't know you in the time of crisis.
I don't know you when stress tightens your veins
or makes you say fuck-it-all.
I don't know you when your head hurts because of me or when love is tested for a day; a week; a month.
I don't know you when cancer
has weakened your body so that your morning sunrise is the top of the toilet seat, and ,and,
I don't know you in pregnancy
where the start of the new day is greeted with emesis and ambivalence to the life growing inside you.
I don't know you when your eyes narrow and your face becomes a curse word and your body a hateful sculpture of malevolence.
I don't know you in loves opposite.
Christopher Valentine©
While You're There
While You're There
I miss my wife, such as I am
incomplete, lost, and aghast at the
withdrawl. Undone and improperly prepared
I was expecting another sensation but what;
this is here this is now.
Time will turn and fold on itself like
a wind-blown sheet and I will still feel empty
For the sake of my soul, I beg of Love to return
what I am in want for, there is no need like I
need you, hunger has not deprived like this, this here
this now.
I am not abandoned, I am still. No echo of my heart
to hear. I am not bereft, I am silent. No reflection
of joy seen. I am not....without you.
Christopher Valentine©
IMPRESSION
Impression
All I want you for is dinner, you to be the course on my plate
Am I coming wrong, come on, you're not a young girl and it's way too late.
As I cypher this verse, this structure of language to your ear
in your mind you've decided to ignore my offer predetermined: "Insincere".
Still healing from the time you were dealing with the brotha that gave you the impression
that all brothers were niggers and all niggers were the same mutha fuckers running the same
lame old ass game.
Posing and pretending, casually befriending, finally feeling fucking and forgetting you
who had been "boo" but really you were #2 or 3, or 4, from the top slice..
You were his woman where he already had a wife
So for somone elses indescretion I'm sent off stressin, and the blessin' we were to be to each
other another lost connection.
Christopher Valentine©
#130
#130
Open-heart surgery
I want open-heart surgery
To remove my heart, I want open-heart surgery
I despise my heart. It loves fast and breaks easily;
wants the uninhibited bliss of pure affection.
Like an addict, it goes through withdrawal for attention.
The absence of love is madness to my heart,
as impossible as darkness not being the absence of light or fire not burning.
My heart refuses to believe that love no longer exists; that devotion to another
is an extinct virtue.
Open-heart surgery
I need open-heart surgery
To remove the lie of a heart, I need open-heart surgery.
The inside mourns for what the outside refuses to show.
Truth is ugly and brutal
-but love-
love is the street brawl whos' only purpose is to fuck up the opponent.
Love is primal rage; ignorant mindless violence hiding behind a curtain.
Love is the hammer of the gun pressed to the side of my temple.
It is dormant until the trigger is pulled.
The ugly truth: Love is as opposite its'
intention as East is from West.
It is bipolar and as much as you may think you want it
you only do so because of what you think you know of it.
We know nothing and are ruined because we know nothing of Love.
Christopher Valentine ©
The Truth
The Truth
Comeon, comeon, youknow, youknow; don't be confused, he ain't there and he
ain't commin'; runnin'! Oh yeah, from your bed to another, he's my brother so
I know.
You're one of many, but the loving has been blinding,
so you lowered your shield to see the light,
and gave in to what you knew was lying.
You knew, but didn't want to. You, in your heart denied your spirit and
forsook common sense. Evidence?
Plenty: He only comes on Tuesday or late nights when he hasn't had any.
Has your esteem been reamed to the degree of not being?
Was lonliness severe enough to cheapen your trust, could your direction and
focus be misdirected, bogus?
You abdicated your throne, and for what? "A bone."
Comeon, comeon, youknow, youknow - you're not a:
ho'
bitch
trick
brawd
skank
hood-rat
gutter-snap
You knew who you were before there was a him, unyolk yourself, cus' you know
your greatest wealth is within.
Christopher Valentine ©
I'm Waiting
I'm Waiting
I'm waiting and sitting and pacing and thinking.
Of nuzzling your neck and kissing your ears; of caressing your face and touching you.
I'm waiting for you, for your time to be my time; our time to be the right time.
I'm waiting to embrace you around the waist, to make my arms your blanket,
to hold you in the way that soothes your worries; to hold you the way you need,
the way I that I need.
I'm waiting because I need you, just you, not the stand in, the also-ran,
the substitute. I need you, because you cure my insecurities, you heal my hurts,
your love reassembles me, rebuilds me, gives me rest to regroup.
I'm waiting because I'm the piece that completes your picture, I'm the final
brush stroke, the finishing hammer's strike to the chisel. I'm the work, the
fulfillment of all the broken promises of those that have come before me.
I'm waiting because you are my vision, my premenition, my prophesy. You are
the embodiment of my hearts desire, the truth and the trust, the reality of
my fantasies. You are my awakening, as a dreamer awakes to his dream.
I am waiting, I feel your approach, I hear your heartbeat, I see your eyes,
I smell your essense.
I am here
I am now
I am Love
Christopher Valentine ©
The Valley
The Valley
The shadows flank me on either side
rememberance of the Sun; past rememberance
of the time before the shadows.
Clarvoiant theory, forsights eye squints at
the Sun's return, time ahead.
The now, the real, the time for vision; for expectation for endurance.
The now is power:
to the future - everything
to the past - redemption
to the attentive - fortune
to the neglectful, just another day.
Christopher Valentine ©
The Deal
The Deal
It's like when-when
a song is sung and the-the
end comes, but the conclusion
makes you undone, the-the end
comes too soon but the vibe is still
on, the groove still going, the
harmony still flowing, but-but
sombody's ceasing it; which is shit.
See-see while I was enjoying the
flowing you were working or-or felt
you were working it-it was a job to
you what was pleasure to me. It
was heart and soul and gold and
diamonds and Mama's fried
chicken and crowder peas and love
and passion but you took the flavor
I savoured and declared it labour.
Your pursuit was my crusade, for
you to ally your heart to mine; all I
craved. Not to be false, on the real
I-I knew how to deal but-but you
wouldn't accept the cards you
were delt. How-how was it felt that
the gift of me was an unqualified
promise; where was it conveyed
that-that my offer of shade was
shady, come on baby!
I wanted to love you without even
receiving you just called it
greiving.
Christopher Valentine ©
Feelings-Time-Spirit
Feelings-Time-Spirit
I know things have been kinda strange
new wants, new demands, new dangers
of feelings - mostly, of time - surely, of spirit - definately.
The thing sought is a connection, an attachment, a new organization
of feelings - mostly, of time - surely, of spirit - definatley.
What does one become when one becomes two -
yes new, interweaving experiences, entangling hearts, liberating hope
The price of investment - the balance always true
of feelings - mostly, of time - surely, of spirit - definately.
Christopher Valentine ©
Sweet
Sweet
A question it begins with, a wondering a searching.
Is the answer held by Allah Akbar, Jehovah Jire, Bhatva Gita.
Indeed a question a searching for an answer to make sense of this disaster.
Like: "Why is my mind inclined to detest my kind when I'm a perfect color copy of
their design?"
Like, I'm not lyin' but my people be actin' up sometimes.
I try to turn my back-copin' blind to my brother who's deceiving and milinging
my sister only lookin' for the affection her parents denying.
I want to know why loneliness fills my chest till I feel like an apple being cored
and hollowed;my desire being drowned my hope made shallow.
Continue on? No choice. My wondering must continue to wander my questions need
a voice.
I'm not clever or crafty or skilled, I'm just curious about why "I"
can't become "us", why "me" can't become "we", why
my "he" can't posess her "she", my "me" loving her
"she" when "us" be "we".
Christopher Valentine ©
Lost and Found
Lost and Found
What I lost by the time I was 9 was no joke
Moms gone, my mind blown, life: wrong.
The fast fact: Pops holdin’ it down
deal with the real-now. Accept the harsh
harden you heart, open nothing-close down
Work harder, be smarter, take orders
be another employed martyr.
Somebody said “the Lord will bring order”,
marry this man’s daughter, don’t consider your
future “We are right” yelled louder and louder.
First year straight, second year- not so great,
third year a mistake, fourth through the tenth
my conscience raped.
Severed all ties, new millineum, new guy
reorder my life. Happy? Like “Saturday Night Live”!
Just be healthy, a whole new mind, redirected my focus,
redrew my design.
Didn’t just flip the script, I wrote a new book,
Carpe Diem baby, new attitude, new look
New energy, new vibe, new outlook, renewed life
Open doors, open heart, open mind, brighter spark.
New love, new love, new love, new love
new love, new love, new love, new love.
Christopher Valentine ©
Lost
Lost
I doubt everything and everything mirrors me. I am here and have lost all and have abandoned hope and have done without by my own enterprise.
I have unraveled the promises I made and the yarn of my achievements steadily comes undone.
What have I done and what have I accomplished that has not been made a shame? What ascendancy have I seen that it all now is come to nothing?
My love is nothing; a specter of a promise of what should have been and there in the midst of it is all my failing, and all my brokenness, and all that I am.
Nothingness and bareness and poverty have not found me but I them as if it were my intent all along.
I strove for oblivion - by determined effort I attained emptiness - by tireless effort I have sown the fallow ground of sand and embers.
I have made the earth come to nothing and I have run aground in defiance of reason. I abandoned myself and have found nothing in its place.
Christopher Valentine©
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
3:37 PM
Thursday, August 18, 2005
10:29 AM
Friday, April 05, 2002
Some things work in a perfect way by design
Somethings are flawed but eventually work out
Some things never work.
The gift is in knowing what these things are
and when they are happening.
10:09 AM
Tuesday, April 02, 2002
It's the hard times that forge character. The only way to really know this is to experience life as it comes, don't expect just accept.
These are the rules:
1: "You have to work harder for everything you receive - it will never be easy"
2: "Anything you get easily will eventually become a burden to you"
3: "The hard way is usually the right way, nothing is wrong with it, the nature of some things are difficult"
4: "Have faith in a positive outcome not a 'particular one'
4:22 PM
Monday, April 01, 2002
Welcome to the next level of thought and opinion.
4:51 PM
NextLevelGrooves
